It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
