i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize