but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my liver is dry heaving
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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