Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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