Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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