I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
