Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
