So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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