my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize