So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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