I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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