I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
