i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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