I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
