We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
