I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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