toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize