Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
