so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Drunk is a universal language darling
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