you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
