my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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