He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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