Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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