East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
