I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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