i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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