return my video game
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
