I cockslap morals
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
