Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
