Can Purell be used as lube?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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