do herpes really smell.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
