the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
