dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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