I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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