Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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