I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
