I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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