it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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