people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
