Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize