So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
