Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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