Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
