Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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