we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
