After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
