Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
