Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
