Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
