remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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