Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I love you.
Bad choice
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
