Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
