I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
