Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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