You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i barfeds in our rink
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize