Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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