is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
