the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My dick has a subreddit
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
