I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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