Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
