Heybabeimwearingurpanties
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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